Reflection

The decade that was.

It has only just occurred to me that today is the end of the decade. Compared to 1999 it is going out very quietly. Remember Y2K? New Years Eve 1999 saw us "celebrating" the end of the century. We, (my husband, myself and our daughter) were in Wales, UK, staying with wonderful friends we had met back in Australia, some years before. I think in December 1999 I had high hopes for the new century. I always remember that when I was in school I used to think that the year 2000 was a lifetime away, and I would be really old as I would turn 41 in 2000. How funny that is now.

In hindsight this decade didn't have a great start. New Years Eve day 1999, our friends were having a combined party with their next door neighbours, unfortunately the neighbour's mother/grandmother became gravelly ill and was rushed to hospital. The party was cancelled. We decided to have a low key affair. I was suffering from the flu ,and had been very sick all day and dragged myself out of my sick bed to join in the "festivities" in the evening. My "angel" who was 6, stayed up long enough to see the fireworks. We had an uneventful night but when it came to midnight, my ex-husband, E's father, wouldn't even wish me Happy New Year, let alone share a kiss. ( I should have figured then, shouldn't I).

Eighteen months later, we separated. I finally saw the light, that I did not need to be married to someone who verbally abused me, who treated me badly. It took a long time to recognize the fact that I had been a victim of domestic abuse. It was a long time ago that we separated, and eventually divorced, but I am very, very glad that we did. When it happened, it shook me to the core as I always believed that marriage was for life, (til death us do part), and I would do anything to keep the marriage working. It also took me a long time to believe in myself and to realize that I had done the right thing by both myself and my daughter.

The last eight years have flashed by very quickly. I was determined to bring up my daughter in a stable home, where she would always feel safe and where there were no "surprises". I kind of put my life on hold for her. No regrets. Now she is 16 and is about to start her last year of school and then possibly go to university or travel overseas. Who knows what is in store for her. She will get her drivers licence this year, so she will be a free spirit, and won't be relying on me to get her to places. Kind of sad that she is growing up, but, I am proud of her as she is a great kid (most of the time).

I am looking forward to this new and exciting decade that will have a whole lot of possibilities for me. I have only great expectations for this next decade. I am not going to have any New Years resolutions, they always end up being broken. No, this year I am just going to look forward to what life will offer, and not dwell on the past.

I can't wait!!!!!

PS. I normally don't dwell on the past. Especially the distant past, but, I just felt that this decade needed closure and this was a good way to deal with it.